Brian

Harry Potter And The Raising Of Lazarus

bradvanderark — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 19:42:24 +0000

Imagine for a moment that The Bible had never been written. And then some brash new author or group of authors got together and wrote this book with stories of good verses evil, giants being taken down by little people, and great floods and plagues that destroy civilizations. And they take this book to someone who agrees to publish it, and after much editing (all of those awful fragmented sentences and dangling participles!) the book is published and becomes the best selling book of all time. Cha-ching! Imagine the book tour! A publisher’s dream! Even the President of the United States is quoting from your book! But soon there is a backlash, because those who read the book quote from it, and judge by it, and it’s ambiguity starts debates that soon turn to wars. That would be one special book, eh? Hollywood would be clamoring for the movie rights, for sure. Ok, that was fun. Now imagine that all of our history was taken from personal diaries of those who cared enough to document their own day to day experiences for future generations. No agenda, no hunger for power, just documentation, much like a schoolgirl writes her daily experiences in her diary. Without all of that schoolgirl editorializing, of course. Boring, or fascinating? Is The Bible fiction or a non-fiction historical account? There is no point in arguing with someone who believes that The Bible is a historical representation of life way back when. When the credibility of the book is brought to question and a believer is backed into a corner, they will inevitably say, “I have faith.” Ok, I get it. You don’t want to talk about it anymore. Let’s talk about your favorite sports team. Imagine you are at a cocktail party thousands of years before The Bible was written, and someone told a story about how he looked out of his window at the rain that had been falling for 40 days and 40 nights, not knowing at that time that any place existed outside of his own world. As far as his eye could see, there was water. Water that had destroyed his crops, and threatened his family. Assuming the rain isn’t going to stop, due to the ominous black clouds that roll in, he finds the highest ground, and builds aboat. He and his family float and survive this flood and the sun comes out and dries the wet, and then that night he writes in his diary: “For the last 40 days and nights, the world flooded, but my family survived and now we begin again.” That’s a pretty good story. If that were your story at a cocktail party, it would most likely be the most dramatic and interesting, and as a bonus, you have a happy, hopeful ending. A true story told in earnest. Even the part about the world being flooded is believable because he had no means of communication back then. If someone where to tell me that story at a party, I would probably say, “How awful for you. It didn’t rain where we were.” And I would probably also say something like “Wow, bummer, you lost everything?! Well, at least you got a good story out of it.” (Yep, I’m THAT guy. The one that has no solution for you or words of comfort or assurance, other than look on the bright side, you got a great story out of it.) Now what if the same person told that somewhat believable story, but added, “So, I thought it was the end of civilization, and that my family and I might be the only ones left, and so I thought, hmmm…better collect a male and female of every species and take them along.” Most likely your smile would freeze and you would back away slowly, taking along with you any sharp, shiny objects that might be within his reach. He took his story too far. That’s what the Bible does. If you believe that these stories are true, that Noah existed and built the ark with the animals and started civilization again, then I won’t take the time to debate you. I believe that they were stories, fables, folklore. Unfortunately, more people believe it all to be true. If you believe that the events in The Bible actually happened, historically, then the era up until The Bible was released must have been a really magical time. Miracles abound! Why did bushes burst into flames and seas part back then and not now? Staffs were turning into snakes, they got water from rocks. What was happening back then? If the witnesses to these events believe their own eyes, then a lot of drugs were happening, that’s what. And what would make a story more credible because it was told thousands of years ago? It really makes no sense. Good stories are sometimes exaggerated to make them great. We’ve all played that game in school, where one child whispers a sentence into the ear of another, and it’s passed along until the sentence completely changes by the time that it gets to the last child. I suspect that there was a lot of that going on when The Bible was written. Think about it. How else did news travel, other than by word of mouth? Because it was written? Well, assuming that EVERYONE could read back then, maybe. But certainly not everyone could read, and stories would have to be told, and embellished as stories often are, because everyone likes to be the one that told the great story at a party. “So this guy, Jesus, I think his name was,shows up and turns the water into wine! Just like that! We were out of wine, and then BAM! WIne was flowing! ” Try to tell that story to someone and not sound like a hippy on mushrooms. Unless you’re religious and quoting from the Bible. Then it makes perfect sense. I’m fascinated by those people who say things like: “You know, the Bible says that you should.” in a conversation. Everyone listens politely to what the Bible said about the current subject being discussed, and then we give a thoughtful “hmmm..” as if to ponder how to interpret the Bible verse and how it relates to our own life. But if I were at your party, and I chimed in something like: “You know, Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets says that you should….” you would think I was absolutely crazy, and most likely, never invite me over again. Because, hold on to your thinking caps, (in fact, shove your thinking caps into a closet because they are of no use here): The Bible is widely considered to be non-fiction. Back to the President of the United States quoting from the Bible. Imagine if that same president quoted from The Hobbit? “You know, it says in The Hobbit that one should….” we would all be screaming RECALL! I’m pretty sure that the individuals that wrote what had become The Bible put their own personal spin on things as well. Some believe that Leviticus was written by Moses,who called eating shellfish and “abomination”. Hmmm.. Sounds to me like Moses had an allergic reaction to some shrimp and assumed that everyone who ate it would have that same reaction, and so be it. Don’t eat it or you shall be condemned! He may have even tried camel or the rock badger as well: “You shall not eat the camel, because it chews the cud but does not part the hoof, and it is unclean to you. And the rock badger, because it chews the cud but does not part the hoof, is unclean to you.”It’s as easy to roll ones eyes at the irrelevant Bible verses as it is to pick on the rambling stories of an elderly uncle, so it’s not worth the time spent. The Bible has terrific, epic stories. It’s a miracle in itself that it has had the power to turn brother against brother, but also bring other countries together with a common denominator. But it’s still a book. You can enjoy the stories and apply them to your own life, however you wish.My friend Griff once wanted to rip one of the pages out of a hotel room bible to use as rolling paper. “It’s rice paper, man!” he said. I wouldn’t let him. “Go rip up the Bible in your own room,” I remember telling him. Maybe my defense of The Bible will be the one thing that saves me when i face St Peter. I wouldn’t know how to explain it, were I facing Lord Voldemort.

Elections

bradvanderark — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:58:49 +0000

I propose we eliminate the national election between Democrats and Republicans. Simply put: Give each party 6 years. First off, skip the 2012 election. Barack, you can stay in office until 2014. It’s yours, making your total term 6 years (2008 to 2014). Don’t waste it. Republicans, you have from 2014 to 2020. Fix things the way that you want. It doesn’t matter if we are all riding high in for that 6 years, come 2020, it’s the Democrats turn again. And so on…. What would it matter? It seems that whatever party is in power is ineffective for the first 2 years of their term anyway. Then as we see some benefits of their agenda trickle in, they are again running to extend their term. And if they win, then the next 2 years are pretty good, and it seems to sour again in the last 2 years of an 8 year term, and the opposing party will get voted in. That’s a total of 6 pretty good years per party. What do you say? Let’s do it! Start by eliminating the next election. From 2012 to 2014, the Democrats should control it all. White House, Congress and the House of Representatives. Go ahead and eliminate the tax breaks for the very rich, stimulate the economy with more jobs created by the government such as rebuilding roads and bridges, etc., and fight for the rights of the poor, all the while keeping a close eye on environmental issues. Make it count, because from 2014 to 2020, it’s the Republicans turn. They then get to extend tax breaks to the rich, downsize government, spend on the military, etc, etc. Yin and Yang! Make sense? I’m not finished here. Allow me some more time to mess up my analogy. The only elections that will take place will be the ones within the party. To determine who would be president during the Republican’s reign, for example, a Mitt Romney would still run against a Rick Santorum. But no Republican will ever run against a Democrat again. Those elections are ugly and nasty, and breed hatred and bullying. As much as there are disagreements among same party members, there will be a commonality between those candidates. The opposing candidates may disagree on certain aspects of their party, but the fundamental issues of said party are at the core. You may be concerned that by giving the Republicans 6 years, they will abuse the new system by abolishing abortion, annulling all gay marriages, and privatizing every current government program. On the other side, as a Republican, you may fear that the ruling Democratic Party will abuse the system in their way, mostly by means of socialism. Might be true. But here’s the kicker: Democrats and independents will still be able to vote for a Republican candidate when it’s time for Republican rule. That means that the Republican Party will HAVE to appeal to the Democrats in some ways, in order to get there votes. In fact, the candidate that appeals MOST to the opposite party, would win the election. Most likely, the most liberal conservative will be elected in the republican era, and the most conservative Democrat will be elected during the democratic era. Crazy? Yes, a little. But at least the American people will know what’s coming, and can prepare for it. Being a Republican or a Democrat, for the most part, is in your blood. You either care about the poor of this country, or you don’t. You either care about what goes on in someone’s bedroom or you don’t. You’ll either worry about Iran having nuclear weapons or you won’t. You either feel the urge to hug a tree or… you get the idea. So, let’s do it. Barack, you have a few more years to clean up this mess. I would get out a push broom and an industrial sized mop as opposed to that Swifter you are pushing around. And Republicans, shut the hell up. Your bitching is a predictable bore lately. You’ll have your turn in a few years. That’s it for me. Your’e welcome, America. Now, on to that pesky common cold……… To explore Brian’s less political side, check out his bi-partisan tunes by clicking HERE

Bullies

bradvanderark — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:34:54 +0000

Bullies: I was bullied as a child. In some cases, I brought it on myself, in most, I did not. I was always about foot taller than my classmates and had a very difficult time eating enough to fill out my frame. I looked like an emaciated child stuck in a refugee camp during WWII. Most kids that are bullied, are the little ones. But being taller than others makes you a target, and nearly impossible to be anonymous. The tough kids want to take the “big” man down. In their defense, watching a stick man fall during a fight is pretty funny. Our giraffe like limbs, flailing to ward off the blows from a warthog with a chip on his shoulder would definitely have been fodder for Youtube, had it existed back then. Thank god it hadn’t. So, I was picked on. Having an afro at one point did not help at all. In fact, it only made me taller. And in 7th grade, being close to 6 ft tall and weighing 130 lbs AND having an afro? A kid is just begging for a new nickname. Mine was “Q-tip”. Funny? Yes, it’s funny. My hair is straight now, and I’ve gained weight. I can take it. Have a laugh. Al Gore had not yet invented the internet in 1976. Had he, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have retaliated against taunters with some of that new fashioned cyber bullying. I was quite the coward back then, and cyber bullying is the weapon of choice for cowards. Hit ‘em hard and run. Stay anonymous. In defense of my younger self, what better way would there have been for a nerdy boy to do some damage to those that he couldn’t compete with in brute strength? Thankfully, we have strict laws against such cowardliness. I don’t condone it. I’m only saying that I probably would have been frustrated enough to put some unflattering photos or videos of my bullies up on the net, had I been able to capture them in the act of doing something embarrassing. Like falling down in gym class, or smiling at a teacher. Twenty years ago, I wrote a song about bullies. Its called Bullies On Vacation. The premise of the lyric is this: I had always wondered what would happen if I were to meet up with a former bully, by chance, twenty or thirty years later. Perhaps I was on a cruise with my family, and he happened to be on that very cruise. Would I confront him? Should I? And what if he turned into a nice guy, or worse, even more deplorable? And most importantly, given the opportunity to punch him in the nose, would I? Bullies On Vacation is still a favorite song among fans of my band, The Verve Pipe. I dismiss it, not liking the production of the song, and the lack of quality in my voice. But I loved the story enough to write a short film. With the help of my friends, Devon Gummersall, Mark Kelly and Mike Zago, we filmed it. (Click here or the link below to watch it.) Its not for kids, and probably not something you would want to watch at work, with your boss milling about (and if you are reading this Mom, turn back!) I am proud that it won quite a few awards at film festivals across the country and if you have 15 minutes, take a look and watch me portray the man that tormented me when I was younger. Hopefully you will not only be entertained by it, but you’ll ask yourself this question: Is it worth it to confront the bully from your past? Click here to watch Bullies On Vacation. To discover Brian Vander Arks musical side, click here.

Television

bradvanderark — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 16:51:08 +0000

Seriously Random Thoughts About The Idiot Box…. I like television. Always have. It was the babysitter when I was growing up. Everyday, after school, the ritual would be have a bowl of vanilla ice cream and top it with Hershey’s chocolate sauce, and plop down in front of it for a couple of hours. Ok, most times it was not ice cream, but ice milk, and generic chocolate, but you get the idea. Reruns of Gilligan’s Island, Green Acres, The Brady Bunch were the everyday fare. I loved spending time with these characters much more than I enjoyed spending time with my own boring old family.Todays television is different, however not without its merits. Comedies like Modern Family, The Office and 30 Rock are favorites. The writing is terrific and the acting usually spot on. Although I am now at a point in my life where I would much rather spend time with my own “boring old family”, it’s nice to live vicariously through these characters that are so often over the top.So what is wrong with television? Why is it that we all treat it like its some sort of guilty pleasure? Statistically, an average of 5 to 6 hours a day is spent watching television. Now before you cry “Not me!”, break your day down. Is the television on in the morning? Someone is watching Regis. Or CNN. Or Sports Center. There’s an hour. Kids get home from school, do some homework, then spend an hour or two in front of the television before dinner (unless of course, there is an Xbox in the house – which in my opinion is far more evil than quality television.) After dinner, its prime time, and the majority of us plop down for 2 to 3 hours of our favorite comedies, medical or cop shows. I usually prefer to watch a movie during this time, unless one of my favorite aforementioned shows is on. So, its reasonable that the statistics are correct.I cannot help but roll my eyes to those people who say they do not watch television. Don’t even own one! I often think, what a boring life that must be. Someone has an idea, they write it down, actors act it with the help of a director, and we watch it, and it makes us feel happy or sad. Does anyone else find this fascinating?!! My advice to America: Stop watching reality shows. The reality is, that if they were truly reality shows, no one would watch them. Real life is excruciatingly boring at times! On these shows, however, everyone is jockeying for the spotlight, saying and doing outrageous things to each other in an effort to break out as a star. This is doing nothing but teaching our kids that this kind of behavior is acceptable. And that has brought me to my final point. (believe me, there was no real point in this. I started writing in hopes that I would find a point. Isn’t that what blogging is about?) It comes down to the parenting. Good parent’s monitor their child’s activity. Good parents are the “Big Brother”. I believe we should spy on our kids often. We should check out their internet searches and history and cookies. We should watch what they watch. There was a period of time when my five year old daughter was watching her favorite shows on Disney (how bad could Disney be?) and she started getting obsessed with boys and marriage and clothes, and all of these other issues that should not be in her world for a few more years. Turns out, Daddy was letting her watch Miley Cyrus and Josh and Drake, and other shows on Disney meant for teenagers, or pre-teens. Bad Daddy.So, television isn’t the problem. Poor TV has gotten a bad wrap over the years. It’s just a piece of equipment. Not knowing and regulating what your kids are watching is the problem. If Gilligan’s Island were on today, I would make my daughter watch it. After all, we should all know how to recharge dead radio batteries by vigorously stirring a clear liquid inside a half coconut shell with a tropical reed..Click Here to Check Out The Musical Side Of Brian Vander Ark

My New Twitter World

bradvanderark — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 16:52:14 +0000

It has been a year since I entered the Twitter universe… and I have decided to step it up. My career as a musician depends on interaction with my fans, and until recently, that interaction has been minimal. From what I understand, most followers view Twitter streams on their home computers or laptops, while many, like myself, check the feeds of those they follow on their smart phones. For those who follow on their computers, there is a good chance that they will miss a tweet or two (or three). For that reason, I repeat tweets. I understand that it can be annoying for those with alerts set, or for those who check tweets on their smart phones, but it is the only way to insure that the tweet is being seen. In an effort to reach as many people as possible, I have found it best to have multiple accounts. Below is a list of accounts, and descriptions of each. @brianvanderark1 This is my personal account. What I am doing, where I am doing it, favorite quotes, inspiration, etc.. will be posted on this account. If you are interested in what I thought of a current movie, or if you have a specific question for me, or a request for a song at an upcoming show, this is the best account to follow. @bvafreebies This account is run by me and my partnering PR firm. It was specifically created to give items away for free. Music, tickets to shows, etc. Every Friday is Freebie Friday, which means I will give you a free song from my catalog. Along with that free song, there will be a link to purchase the album on which that song appears. Many of the free songs will not appear on any album, and in that case, the link will direct you to the website. Once a month, I will record a favorite cover song, or a song requested by followers. That song will be a freebie as well. VIP tickets to shows (and guest list privileges) will be offered as well. Usually, I will tweet the offer of being put on a guest list, and the first person to respond with a “Pick Me!” or something of the like, will win the spots on the list. @infobva This account is run by me and my partnering PR firm. It was created to give the latest information on upcoming shows, recordings, etc. It will also have repeated tweets, directing people to the bio page on my website. Much of the new information offered on shows and recordings will be given on the other Twitter accounts, making this account superfluous for the old school fans. It is mostly for people who know very little about me. Well, that is about it. Thank you for your patience with all of the repeat tweets. We are in the process of stream-lining my twitter world to make it an efficient way to communicate with all of my very supportive fans. My best to you all! Brian